Some friends and I are writing letters to our children in a monthly blog circle! After you read mine, click here to check out my friend Kari’s letter next. If you click through each letter, you’ll eventually find yourself right back here!
This past month your big sister started school, her last year of pre-K. Our usual routine when we drop Emily off at school is to walk her to her classroom, let her hang up her things, then I give her a hug and a kiss, and you give her a hug and a kiss. Then you and I head out to go to Mom-Mom’s house or Nai Nai’s house. Last year you never had any issues with that. But this year you’re having a harder time letting go. You want to stay at school too! One day in particular, I knelt down to give Emily my hug and kiss and then next thing I know, there you are, giving me a hug and kiss and saying goodbye! Then you trotted off, looking around, ready to get your day started. You were ready to be in school! And unfortunately, Mommy had to tear you away from all that fun. You were not happy about that! It made me realize how ready you are to start exploring your world in a deeper way and take on new challenges and adventures. But I’m going to hold on to you for just one more year.
I just returned from a photography conference. I was away for 5 days. For 5 days I didn’t get to see you! I missed you and your sister and your daddy so much. It was a wonderful conference and it was important for me that I went, but it truly made me realize just how important you are in my life. When I returned you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you and your sister so I crept into your room and I gave you each a kiss. I had missed you so much and all I wanted to do was hug you and squeeze you. But you totally made up for it the next day. I woke your sister first and daddy went into your room to get you out of your crib. He asked if you wanted to see Mommy and you went bolting out of your room searching for me and when you saw me, your sweet little face broke into the biggest grin and you came running and jumped into my arms! That made me so, so happy! It’s so hard to put into words – that love. It’s such a deep down feeling. I wish I had the words. I wish I was an author or a poet and could explain in such a way that makes the reader feel even a shadow of what I feel. But my art is visual. And I can only hope that you see my love for you in the images that I create. (And of course in all the hugs and kisses too!)
Sometimes I get frustrated. I feel like these pictures just don’t do any justice to the growth that I’ve seen in you these past few months. A picture can’t capture your leaps in vocabulary or how you repeat everything your sister says, even if you can’t quite form the words yet! And they can’t capture the way your giggles and belly laughs sound. Or the way you run (really fast) pumping your arms up and down, making everyone smile and think of Forrest Gump! But I will continue to do my best to document your milestones and pour all my love into you and these images. And you will continue to grow and reach new milestones and amaze us all!